Getting engaged is an exciting time – unless of course your parents ruin your moment. This question comes from a reader whose pain in the ass parents are turning his happy time into a nightmare.
Dear Annabelle,
I’m about the propose to my girlfriend and my parents are flipping out about it. Until I told them that I was buying a ring, I assumed they liked her. They told me that she and I aren’t compatible and they have been holding their tongue hoping we’d break up cause I’d come to my senses. My parents are very conservative, god-fearing individuals and she’s more of a free spirit. She loves nature and animals and has never stepped foot in a church. She is the kindest and most loving person I’ve ever met and I don’t know how they can’t accept her despite their differences. Everyone loves her! I haven’t proposed yet because I’d like their blessing but I don’t even now where to begin.
Honestly my friend, if I were you, I’d tell my parents to shove it and propose – but clearly that is not what you want to do. There is a possibility they’ll never be ok with it and you’re going to have to go ahead without their blessing. I would suggest taking some time to cool off and when you’re feeling less angry, have a conversation. If they really are god-fearing individuals, they need a lesson in God’s acceptance. If God loves all his “creatures” then God loves your girlfriend and by association, your parents should follow his lead. I’m not sure if that argument is going to get you anywhere – often extremely religious individuals are judgemental and exclusionary. However, the way their acting really does go against the inherent principle’s of religion (acceptance, love, charity etc).
If that doesn’t work, I’d be frank. Tell them that you are marrying your girlfriend with or without their blessing and if they want to be in your life and the lives of their future grandchildren, they better get on board. You’re an adult and as an adult you have the right to make decisions without having to deal with your narrow-minded parents. You also have the right to cut them out of your life completely and they should be made very aware of this fact. If they love you, they’ll make an effort.
Don’t Miss Annabelle’s Follow Up Column: Signs You’re Ready to Get Engaged
