When you get married, you’re not only accepting a new person into your life, but you’re welcoming his friends as well. The problem is that while you might love your spouse, you don’t always love their friends. What should you do when you dislike your husband’s friend?
Dear Annabelle,
My husband and I are going to the yearly Fourth of July Picnic thrown by a friend of his. The problem is that I really dislike his friend. He’s a jerk. On top of that, I’m not a big fan of his neighbors who are always at the party. I’ve never told my husband how I feel because we only see him a few times a year but I really don’t want to go to the picnic this time. What should I do?
My first question is why haven’t you told your husband that you don’t like his friend? It doesn’t sound like it’s his closest friend due to the fact that you don’t see him very often. I don’t think the infrequency of seeing this jerk is a good enough reason to stay mute.
The way I see it is you have three ways of dealing with this bad friend:
1. Tell your husband you don’t like his friend and don’t want to go. It’s possible that your husband doesn’t really like him either but goes to his parties because of an obligation he feels. Or your husband does really like him and you might be starting a fight.
2. Stay quiet (again) and go to the party. The Fourth of July is on Monday. Eventually you need to tell your husband how you feel about this guy but maybe doing it in the next three days isn’t realistic. Go to the party and find the time within the next year to tell him the truth.
3. Wake up with a headache, or backache, or cramps or something that will be sufficient enough of a reason not go to the party. Then defer back to #2 and find the time in the next year to talk to Hubby about his bad friend.
