This reader has a needy friends who’s driving her crazy and she wants to ditch him. What’s the best plan?
Dear Annabelle,
I have a guy friend who is going through a rough time in his life. We used to be pretty close, until I moved to a different town. I used to like hanging out with him, but lately he has been acting really immature. He doesn’t have a lot of friends and he is reaching out to me more and more. I am not really interested in spending time with him, as a friend or otherwise. What is the best way to explain this to him?
I want to say two things back to you: he is going through a rough time in his life and he is reaching out to me more and more.
What does that sound like to you? To me, he sounds like someone who is in trouble and needs a friend more than anything. While your reaction to ditch him is the easy route to take, how would you feel if something happened to him and you had the opportunity to help him but instead chose the easy road?
I propose that you work on your friendship with him instead of getting rid of him. Be honest. Tell him that he’s been acting immaturely lately (probably due to his unhappiness) and that in order for the two of you to remain friends, he needs to act more maturely. I bet if you just told him the truth and laid it out there, he’d work on it. Real friendship is seeing your friends through tough times as well as good. He needs a friend right now and you need to decide what sort of friend you want to be.
Stressed about the Holidays? Don’t miss Annabelle’s column on Christmas Present Etiquette.
