The amount of reader questions that come into Dear Annabelle about friends with benefits is overwhelming. Guys in America need to stop being selfish pricks and start treating women with more respect! This question comes from a college girl who’s confused about her ex boyfriend’s behavior…
Dear Annabelle,
I am really confused. My ex boyfriend and I just started talking again after a bad break up (he broke up with me). However, one night he invited me to his room, (we live in the same building in college) and he started to kiss me and the next thing I know, we’re making love. He wants to be friends with benefits but I am not sure if it is a good idea, especially after I realized that I have don’t have feelings for him anymore. He keeps insisting but I don’t feel anything when we have sex. Why would he want to be FwB after he broke up with me? If I decide to be friends with benefits with him, how would everything end? Would I end up having feelings for him again or will he end up having feelings towards me? What should I do?
College Girl
Dear College Girl,
I’m going to tell you what’s going on here and afterwards, I want you to read Watson’s column: Friends with Benefits | A Male Perspective.
Here’s What’s Happening:
Your boyfriend loved you when you were together and you were both happy. For whatever reason he decided he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and dumped you. Now he’s lonely and horny. He wants someone in his life without any strings attached and you’re and easy option since you’re already comfortable with one another. He probably realized that getting laid isn’t as easy as he thought it was and is sick of spending his nights alone in his dorm room. However, he still wants to be single, leaving his options open. The phrase why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free? couldn’t be more accurate. I’m angry at him for being such a hurtful jerk.
How Will It All End?:
You and your boyfriend had a “bad breakup” which signifies to me that he did something shitty when he broke up with you. This is how it’s going to end: You are going to get hurt. Right now you don’t feel anything because you’re angry at him but if you continue sleeping with him, you will start to have feelings again and he’s not going to get back into a relationship. If he wanted that, he would have suggested you get back together, not sleeping together.
He sounds like he’s your typical immature college guy looking to party, have sex and is hoping that you’ll be his built in sex buddy. As tempting as it might be to hang out with him when you’re lonely, it will only end in you getting hurt. There are plenty of guys (even in college) who want relationships – not sex friends. You deserve a relationship. Your heart will be better off studying and meeting new people. Don’t waste your time being his FwB because when you’re spending time with him, you might miss your chance of meeting the right guy.
Want more Annabelle? Tomorrow she’ll be helping a guy pick up a girl he doesn’t even know.
