Ok guys, let’s talk about your Online Dating choices. Almost all of my girlfriends have been on an online dating site and I was on Match.com for 6 months and eHarmony for 3. I’m gonna give you the inside scoop on what we really think about your bad jokes, half naked pictures of yourself and that photo from 10 years ago.
Ladies – I wrote a similar article just for you that you can read by clicking here.
Use a Current Picture from the Last 6 Months:
I know you’ve gained weight and lost some hair but you need a current pic! If a girl goes on a date with a really cute guy from Match.com and you’re an older, fatter, balder version of that guy, it’s a DEAL BREAKER. It also makes you look like a liar. Be honest about how you look. The right girl will find your lack of hair and love handles… cute.
Don’t Post an Inappropriate Picture:
You’d be amazed how many guys post pictures of themselves without their shirt on, with the flag of their favorite football team hanging on the wall behind them. Another mistake is a picture of yourself with 5 of your buddies. Inevitably one of them is hotter than you and stealing your thunder. Leave out all pictures where you’re holding a beer, liquor or a cigarette unless you’re looking for a 21 year old party girl. Last but not least, don’t put up a picture with your ex-girlfriend blacked out. Even if it’s actually your sister, we assume it’s your ex so just don’t do it.
Post a Glamour Shot of Yourself:
Guys always screw up the picture. They either do #1, #2 or put up a blurry, terrible picture that doesn’t do them justice. You know all those girls you winked at without looking at their profile? Girls do the same thing. I don’t care how witty and fantastic your “about me” section is, if you put up a crappy picture, no one is going to read it. Use a picture you have for business (assuming it’s current!). If you don’t have any professional pictures, have a friend help you (preferably someone who has a camera and is knowledgeable about lighting). Go outside and stand in front of a tree, on a bridge, in front of an old stone building; anything not lame and smile. If you have a dog or exotic pet take them with you and put them in the picture.
Don’t Lie About Your Income or Leave it Blank:
The income section of online dating sites sucks. No one wants admit how rich or poor they are. Regardless, it’s there and you need to answer it honestly. If you leave it blank, we assume you’re penniless and won’t talk to you. If you exaggerate and end up with this girl, you’ve just started a relationship with a big lie over your head. Suck it up and fess up. If you take a cute enough glamour shot, that’s all she’ll be looking at anyways.
Make the First Move, Second, and Third:
Unless you’re the type of guy who wants to date a woman who wear the pants, INITIATE. In the world of dating, guys are hunters and joining an online date site shouldn’t change that! If you’re interested, do something about it. The entire time I was online, I never made a move. It was the guy’s job.
Talk to Every Girl Possible:
Look, you’re paying to meet these girls and you need to get your money’s worth. Some people wink at a girl and then wait to see if she winks back because they don’t want to be unfaithful or some such non-sense. You have absolutely no obligation to be faithful to anyone at this stage. Women expect that you’ll be talking to and going out with other girls. The reality is that you’ll probably wink at 20 girls and 5 will wink back. Eight of them aren’t online anymore but forgot to make their profile private and the rest are probably making the mistake of being faithful to one guy even though he’s not returning the favor.
Don’t Skip Steps:
Some guys skip the initial wink / introduction phase and it’s a mistake. If a girl isn’t interested, she doesn’t want you to write to her. Period. If you skip the introduction phase and email her without her permission, it’s creepy and pushy. You’ve also wasted your time writing to someone who’s not going to respond.
DO NOT EVER Send a Generic Cut and Paste Email:
We’re not stupid. We can smell these emails from a mile away and they piss us off. I’m not saying you can’t cut and paste parts of your emails like your job and favorite hobbies but don’t ever send a completely generic email. Hi, I’m Ted and I’m a stock broker. I like long walks on the beach and am looking for the right girl who doesn’t mind that I am completely lame and have a small penis. Bad form Ted. Seriously.
Read Her Profile – After She Winks Back:
You need a game plan when online dating. I recommend winking at as many girls as possible based solely on her picture and see who bites. If you throw a wink her way and she reciprocates, THEN read her profile. Don’t waste your time reading the profile of someone who might not be interested. Once you know for sure that she’s into you, take the time to read her profile. You might find out she has five cats and you’re allergic or that she’s vegan and won’t date any meat eaters. Not only should you read it to find out if you’re not a match but it will help you out with #10.
Refer to Her Profile in Your First Email:
Since you’ve decided not to be Ted in #9, it’s time to show her that you’re actually “listening” to her. She agonized over her profile and wants to know that you cared enough to read it. You don’t have to go overboard, just one or two things is enough. If she says she loves micro-breweries, ask her if she’s ever been to one of your favorites or what type of beer she likes. A simple question referring to something she said is enough to start a conversation and show that you put in the time.
Be Funny:
Bad jokes are ok. We think they’re sweet. I had one guy put a joke at the end of every email he sent me – bonus points! You can never go wrong with a sense of humor. Most girls list it as one of their top “must haves” when it comes to a guy. Not that funny? That’s ok. There are a kabillion and one joke sites online. Comedy Central’s website is: Jokes.com. Another options is jackassjokes.com. Just keep them clean. At this point, you don’t know if she’s a fan or dirty jokes and she doesn’t know that you’re not some creepoid.
Don’t Be a Douche:
Getting rejected sucks. When you’re online dating, you’re going to get rejected – a lot. We will either A. not return your winks B. wink but ignore your email or C. might just drop off the face of the earth mid emailing. That’s going to be your reality. Accept it and move on. Don’t send her a nasty email. Not only does it make you look like a giant toolbag but she’ll probably report you which will get you kicked off.
Never Go on Your Online Dating Site Between the Hours of 8pm – 8am on Friday or Saturday:
Most online dating sites have a time stamp attached to your actions that we can see. You never want the girl to know that you’re home alone on a Friday or Saturday night. Don’t you have friends? What’s worse is if you come home from a date at 1 am and are now emailing us (we’ll assume you’ll be doing that after our first date as well).
Don’t Assume There is Something Better:
My biggest problem with online dating is that it creates the attitude that there is something better on the horizon. When you meet organically, you aren’t distracted by thousands of other girls waiting at home for you. Online dating can make people too picky and unrealistic. Just because there are a million girls on your dating site, doesn’t mean they are even remotely interested in you. If you’re hitting it off with someone, move forward without assuming there’s something better waiting on your computer.
Don’t Fall in Love with Her Until you Meet Her in Person:
People are really great on paper. The entire dot come dating process is ridiculously unorganic because it’s pretty easy to crack a joke in an email when you have hours to write it. It all boils down to chemistry and you’ll never know if you have it until you meet each other and ultimately make the decision if you’d like to see that person naked. Plus she might not have followed Rule #1 and your dream girl might have gained a hundred pounds. Be realistic until the first actual date, then feel free to fall.
